What I Know About Fibro by Joss Burnel better known as the Crowingcrone over at Walking in Beauty.

A chance photograph on Joss’ blog led me to where she had blogged about this book she had wrote. I left a comment something like, ‘that’s just the book i need to read’. Several days went passed and my mind kept reflecting on the book and what it may contain. Then i received an email in which Joss offered me a copy of her book. Of cause i said ‘yes, please.’ But, was this all random chance of was it always meant to happen? I believe that nothing is random and everything happens for a reason, to teach us something so that when the time is right we can teach someone else.

Did this book touch my heart? YES, YES, YES right to its very core. By the time i had reached page 18 i started to cry and cried throughout the book. I cried for Joss and her broken life and i cried for myself and my equally broken life. The particulars may be different but the result was the same. The feeling of brokenness, inadequacy and being alone with a broken body and a broken mind. When Joss explained that the pain was like having  ’a migraine’ everywhere, i have also referred to it like this, having suffered on going migraines for years. Joss was diagnosed with fibrositis or Fibromyalgia over 20 years ago after her son caught her with his foot, it was gentle and should not have hurt but i believe and i believe that she believes that it was not that which caused the pain to run riot through her body.

Each chapter title starts with ‘I Know … Pain can Become Everything There is’ (Chp 2). Each chapter ends with a poem that often made me cry even more and then a ‘So What? She explains how Fibromyalgia took over her whole life for over 10 years. She found, like i have done, doctors do not know and are powerless to help. However Joss realized that the power to fight back was within herself. As she learnt about stress, chronic pain, sleep and childhood trauma she came to realize that if she wanted her life back she would have to do it herself. She began to listen to her body, to the pain that her body was sending out, wave after wave. She also asked for the help from those who could help her and eventually she left the life and the pain behind her.

She ends with, ‘What step is it that you need to take today towards healing your life?’

This is the most beautiful book i have ever read. It is filled with compassion and empathy from someone who knows. If you are struggling with anything in your life that is causing you pain, either mental anguish or physical pain i would say read this book. You do not have to be suffering from Fibromyalgia to feel the healing that comes from it. Each word is written with love and an healing balm which radiates outwards, but we all have the power to heal ourselves. Joss still has Fibromyalgia, but she is not consumed by it’s presence. This book offers a way to start healing but your journey and my journey will each be different. This poem says ‘this is me’ this is where i am right now in my life but i will find the right tools to be able to live a life ‘Walking in Beauty’.

See this young girl,

hungry, confused,

never doing the right thing,

talking when she

should be silent,

playing when she

should be quiet,

wiggling and giggling

when she should be invisible.

See her learn to

not speak, not think,

not feel.

See her hide

within herself all that she is

and all that she longs for.

See the woman

she becomes,

a woman who is

no longer willing

to be quiet or

to tuck away all that

she is, deep inside,

where no one can see.

Watch her as she steps away from

pain and sickness of

mind and body,

and claims her place

as one who listens,

who heals,

and nurtures that

lost little girl.

Watch her bloom!

                                                          Joss Burnel